If you're reading this blog you're a Point Of Light...

​

I've said for a very long time that life isn't simple and it can't be simply understood—let alone explained in any simple way. I've likened my own life to be like an onion; I find that when I pull back a layer of my life, all I've accomplished is to reveal yet another layer. My brother once said of me that I'm the living embodiment of a Winston Churchill quote that said "a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." I can tell you I've not figured out this thing called life, not by any stretch of my imagination, which all you Points of Light will soon find to sometimes be very vivid. I can tell you I suffer from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, memory problems, and auditory and visual processing disorder. Those are issues I've dealt with my entire life and all of them began affecting me in my childhood. What I can also tell you is how for years I've struggled in my emotional pain, wrongly feeling nothing but darkness surrounded me. Within that darkness, beginning as early as my childhood, I felt there were ugly, hideous, dark beasts outrageously growling at me, snapping their ravenous razor-sharp teeth at me in an attempt to devour my flesh. Did living in that darkness mean there was an absence of light in my life?  It took me years to come to some understanding and grasp this idea that since I was a child, I've always been searching to find the light. This understanding finally came to me with the help of a friend who lovingly made herself my lighthouse and it's something I suggest you read about as I thoroughly explain it in "Genesis For This Blog." I love you; I really do. Hold my hand, come on, let's go for a little trip into my past that's going to help you see exactly what I'm talking about when I say, "since I was a child, I've always been searching to find the light."

 

You're going back with me to Atlanta in 1968 to Highland Elementary School located at 978 North Ave where an 8-year-old Tod w/only one d is lying on the grass in the playground behind the school looking up at the sky. "Tod, can you tell us Points of Light why you were looking up at the sky?" Well, what I'll do is let the commemoration I once wrote about my birthday tell you why little me was looking up at the sky: "I never forgot to notice the big bright yellow sun shining like a majestic icon of strength and of all that was good in the world! Now let's be honest here, I mean, I had no idea how far away he was, my kid head just knew no matter how high I jumped I'd never touch him, and he was just way far away (the sun that is)! Still as far away as the sun was, when I would lay on the ground, if I'd be really still, even if being springtime there was still a slight chill in the air, I'd feel the warmth of the majestic sun radiating on me, it made me feel like we were good friends. Anyway, whenever I was in school and we had that time when we could draw pictures with crayons, I mostly drew pictures of being outside and I would never forget to draw the grass green, the sky blue, the clouds puffy and white, but especially the sun big, bright and yellow with those warm yellow rays coming off it. My April, my yellow sun." 

 

Even in all that darkness, I was still seeking light and still searching to find light's color so I could ultimately find beauty. Why? So that little boy could be happy and find a way to smile. But this is my CliffsNotes bio. There's a lot more in "Being Fiercely Honest" so have a look there if you'd like to read more. And the complete commemoration for my birthday can be found here, "April Gives My Shoulders Sunshine." 

​

Writing Beautiful Light Disclaimer

​

Writing Beautiful Light is an informational site. The resources on this site are provided for informational purposes only, and should not be used to replace the specialized training and professional judgment of a health care or mental health care professional.

​

Writing Beautiful Light cannot be held responsible for the use of the information provided. Please always consult a trained mental health professional before making any decision regarding treatment of yourself or others.

​

Self-help information and information from the Internet is useful, but it is not a substitute for professional assistance. Please seek professional help immediately:

• if you have thoughts of killing (or otherwise harming) yourself or others;

• if you are gravely disabled (unable to care for yourself);

• if you are abusing substances;

• or if you or someone else is in any danger of harm.

The sole purpose of Mental Health Matters is to offer resources and information to those dealing with mental health issues. We cannot, and will not, be assuming the role of your physician or therapist.

​

If you are in need of help, please contact a Crisis Clinic or a qualified mental health care provider.