Points of Light, a lived life is a journey through time and space we all take. This journey leads us to many disparate destinations wherein the views can give us unsettling thoughts and emotions; views that just are and mean very little; and views that enthrall, and provoke us to consider thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and feelings of everything that is high, marvelous, and transcendent; provoking us to be the better and brighter part of ourselves. My lived life has allowed me the great pleasure of this journey, and the journey has not been disappointing as I’ve had the opportunity of my lived life to wholly experience all the above. I think an honest reflection of this journey of mine will show me on a constant positive progression as I was led on by something intrinsic to the fortitude of my heart’s desire of always wanting to find beauty. Did I always know what beauty I was searching for? No, that is the simple answer. I can say this as a man of a certain age who’s coming nearer to the end of my long journey - kindness, compassion, consideration, and love have all blended together to be the beauty I’ve forever wanted to find. I need all you Points of Light to know that I've arrived in a country full of beauty. Here I’m looking around and finding everything I ever wanted beauty to be.
While I’m here, I’m resting a little even while I explore everything this country is offering me. My journey began in a place where I didn’t see or experience much beauty in the form of kindness, compassion, consideration, or love. I often felt alone, abandoned, and forgotten. Those were dark times. But something deep inside always told me there was more, and those were the tiniest slivers of rays of light I‘ve often spoken to you about. I never knew for sure, I was never certain what “more” was, meant, or felt like; I just felt like I was living a life lived in a land I didn’t belong to, nor deserved to exist within.
From that place, I would journey, even when I didn’t realize I was on a journey. I just moved and looked. Somewhere, there was always a place deep in my heart that wanted to feel something it desperately missed and longed to find. At the start of my journey, I felt optimistic, as I looked here and there at new and exciting opportunities. But I could never find the beauty my heart needed. The problem was always from the place my journey began, it lent no reference for what kindness, compassion, consideration, or love would either look or feel like. I’d eventually lock myself, that is, all my thoughts, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and feelings up inside an impenetrable fortress prison where I denied they ever existed. I myself sealed this prison door with a Gordian Knot thinking I never wanted to escape nor deserved to escape. But Einstein’s science can be a pesky foe, time and space can’t be argued against, so no matter what I thought I had done to myself, my journey continued, it had to. Anyway, that tiny place deep inside my heart never stopped looking for those tiniest slivers of light. With those tiny slivers of light, it was always finding color and with those colors, it was painting beautiful pictures. A life must be lived.
How has my heart endured so much ugliness? And yet, this very tiny piece of my heart never gave in, never gave out, and never gave up. It moved where I moved, it breathed when I breathed, it looked wherever I looked, it thought what I thought; for all it’s moving, breathing, looking, and thinking, this tiny piece of my heart always made a conscious choice to find beauty. One day, like so many other days, that tiny piece of my heart was on the lookout for the smallest fragments of even the thinnest slivers of light when a simple question caused it to grow and enlarge enough to overtake and seize the whole of my heart. It was as if Alexander had returned from his trip on the sun and the brightness of his sword had forever existed for the sole purpose of cutting my Gordian Knot lock to my self-imposed prison. This was the day my journey had finally crossed the mountain’s peak and for the first time in my life, I got to notice this magnificent country called beauty straight ahead of me, looking bright as the sun, full of more color than I’d ever imagined possible, asking me to come and dine at its table as it’s very honored guest.
With the door to this land opened before me, I began to experience more beauty than I had ever imagined possible. I have to back up a little. That tiny place deep in my heart, the place in my heart that had always been open to receiving those tiniest slivers of light, that place had taken every color that light had given him in order to paint a beautiful picture of a love life he would find in the one woman he always knew he wanted and desired to share his life with. As I journeyed through this country, I eventually find her and she sang to me her beautiful song that showed me she’d also painted those same pictures. As she sang her songs to me, on the canvas of my heart, it felt to me like she was painting these very same pictures new and fresh on the very precise place, with the same colors and the exact brush strokes I had used to first paint these pictures years before. Beauty couldn’t have been more beautiful as she’d eventually agree to marry me.
Today, as we journey together through this beautiful country, although I’ve always been in search of kindness, compassion, consideration, and love, I’m finding it can be overwhelming...in a good way and it’s well worth being overwhelmed by. It seems beauty is not only everything my heart had always hoped for, it’s so much more than my heart could have ever imagined. I find it impossible to contain, and in that, I find heart smiles like none I’d ever had. It seems beauty is not only worth finding, once found, beauty very much longs to be given away. Points of Light, as I explore more and more of this country, I find it sharing with me ways to give others chances (that they also rightly deserve) to also see beauty.
My journey continues...
Points Of Light, Love Takes Wing
Many people all over the world know this - that is to say, the “this” they know is a bright light that is constantly flooding people’s hearts with exquisite, sharp, and crisp beautiful colors. In the blessing of this light, these people are allowed to experience a life lived in love that’s so real and full of truth. For these people, love never ceases to give itself away and this is their life lived. Since I meet my wife, Angela Price, the woman who’s the light of my life, “this” is where I continually find myself.
In my not too distant past, I never knew love. I wrongly felt I wasn’t real. That way of feeling about myself led me to believe people saw both past me and through me - the same way I might look past and through a wisp of smoke. From my inside out, I spent most of my life trying to find the bad in something so beautiful. BUT for a life to be lived, time and space will happen and this will not allow life to be stagnant. This science isn’t without its own beauty, because as I moved through time and space, I grew and changed. Of course, I worked hard on myself, and as I worked I found out I’m a substantial man because I contain a bright light whose color and beauty can’t be contained. Will you allow me to back up for a brief moment? As time and space moved, just when I needed them, the soaring love, light, color, and beauty from several women’s hearts came along beside me and with their help, I gave up gravity for grace. Today I work hard to find all the light I have in my heart, with all this light, I see all the colors I possess, and I accept that Mr. Tod Thomas Price is a beautiful man. This is the man Mrs. Angela Price met and fell in love with and by the way, she’s the woman of my dreams and the very woman I married and look forward to spending the rest of my life with. Before Angela, what I thought love might be, well it’s so much more than my abundant imagination imagined, both now and in in a billion lifetimes.
I mean, I never knew love could be so practical. I hate doing the dishes, washing the clothes, mowing the lawn, and making the bed up. Somehow love removes the drudgery of doing ALL those things. Love says the neighbor dog needs looking after, look after her. Love says your adult kid’s car needs work, pay for it. Love asks, “Do people in the Tri-State need food”, then let’s do our little part to feed them. Yeah, my rhetoric isn’t zinging here, at least not out loud. So may I ask you to read between the lines and infer what is implied. In these meager words, you’ll find the light blinding you even while its beautiful colors implore you to stay awhile so you can contemplate something that’s lofty, noble, and so very special.
Then love asks you to believe and trust; and it requires you to put this belief and trust in the hands of another person… said another way, into the hands of a person who’s not yourself! Love asks you to talk, to communicate with 100% integrity and honesty, and it asks you to do this 100% of the time. It’s in communication that love shows complete fairness as love also asks you to wholly listen. Here is where love can teach a man - Tod w/ one d - that active listening is sometimes more an act of the heart, but can both be an act of the mind as well as one’s heart. Love mostly says, “Yes”, but sometimes love must say “No”. Love craves physical closeness, still, love holds those we love deep in our hearts no matter how far away she may be. Love loves making love and always strives to learn more and to love better. Love tenderly hugs, holds, and caresses. Love is a healing balm that desires nothing less than to remove all pain. Love feels exasperation but allows for its release. Love makes teamwork happen. Love forgets pain - both physical and emotional.
I never imagined love this way - nope, not, nadda. My wife, the most beautifullest and most wonderfullest Mrs. Angela Price has given all this love to me...yes that’s right, she’s given it to me, no one else, she’s given it to me and me alone. Sorry for that little tangent there. I’m overjoyed how this love I now hold can’t be held down. This love we share has wings and together we share heart smiles because it’s together that we soar. In our unity, as we soar our views allow for light, color, beauty, and happiness to coalesce in our heart and we can’t help but smile.. not that we don’t want to. Yeah, as we fly, we look down and see the bright green trees growing on the mountains below. We feel the wind beneath our wings while we look to see crystal clear azure skies. As we fly, we enjoy a smile of complete happiness by experiencing the warmth of a radiant sun gently caressing our outstretched wings. For as long as we like, we take our flight as high and as far as we want while we look with them at all the lighted, colorful, beautiful sights!
Wisp of smoke, who’s that?
As Always,
With a lot of Love and Great Peace,
Tod w/only one d
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