Points of Light, when a piece of the sun exists in your heart, you feel it - You feel its warmth, the full spectrum of its light, the entirety of its colors, and all its spectacular beauty. You close your eyes and its presence gives you a calm, peaceful feeling. With this feeling, we joyfully realize an implicit request to smile. A piece of the sun having an existence in one's heart. How often does this occur? Does this occur often, or rarely? I think this is right, no matter the answer, we always relish our welcome resident.
As God gives me constant gifts of breath, I'm blessed to walk in this world filled with many, many people. Many people is a phrase that requires close attention. Of those many people, not one of them is exactly like me - not one. Of course, this is also true, I'm not exactly like any of them. I know within my skin; I hold in my heart a piece of the sun; I know I smile; I know I breathe; I know I move. Outside my skin, I can only be sure of this, of these other people, because of their place in time and space, and because of their very precious intrinsic breath, I receive a chance to meet someones totally unlike me and me totally unlike them.
In my very long-lived life, I meet many someones unlike me and I unlike them, so what am I to do? Mind you, to answer this question with both honesty and integrity, I have to inform you I'm someone who spent most of his life not getting things right - not only the first time, not only the second time, not only the third time, not only the 757th time, and sometimes not even on the 3,345th time. There's something about my own intrinsic makeup wherein I've always known I've needed more work; I've needed to either see the better part of me and/or become the better part of me. So despite my flaws, there's always been a part of me that never gave up thinking that I could be the better part of myself - even when there were times I gave in to thinking it was an impossible goal. Was that a conundrum? Yeah, lol. This was possible because I knew God wanted more for me, and, well, a life must be lived. Still, this is a truth in life, living life is more than my internal struggle - a life lived is encountering people outside of my skin. I also believe this is true, a fair understanding of a life lived is about encountering people who may or may not want to be the better part of themselves; sometimes we'll encounter some who, by their hard work and perseverance, have worked through their labyrinths to gain their better part, while others remain content with who and what they are.
Flaws are a funny thing and beg the question - in reality, do my flaws exist without something to compare them to? Do I have any flaws when all alone and by myself? Without someone outside my skin to compare myself to, might I righteously say I'm perfect because I haven't any flaws? Am I perfect in my world of isolation and do I only become imperfect when I experience other people? I think this is true, or maybe it's self-evident, in a world where everyone differs totally from anyone else, every one of us shares many things in common. It's obvious how, just like me, I'll always encounter someone with two eyes. But even there, I might have 20/20 vision, while she might be blind. In what we have in common, we're still different. Between her and I, my eyes will be judged to have perfect vision while her's will be judged as being flawed and imperfect. The same comparison can, and does, happen in all kinds of ways; some people have limbs that are whole and intact, while other's limbs are malformed because of an issue with their DNA. They will judge one as imperfect and the other as having no flaws and imperfect. I might encounter someone whose brain functions perfectly well while autism, ADHD, or even schizophrenia impairs my brain. As in every other instance, it's very easy to judge one of us as imperfect and flawed, while they judge the other as flawlessly perfect. Were the blind woman, the man with the malformed limbs, or me with auditory processing disorder forever alone, would we think ourselves perfect? Isn't it only in meeting others with 20/20 vision, whole and intact limbs, and no disorders of the brain that we finally see our imperfections?
Of course, there's another truth to look at. Not only do I actually have auditory processing disorder, but I also have visual processing disorder, and both these combine to make my recall (memory) of precise and factual past interactions, especially about their real intentionality, not only poor but often totally inaccurate. This is because while I hear and see "just fine - I have no problems", my brain has gaps while interpreting auditory and visual information. This contributes to my brain inaccurately registering my memories, while someone without my imperfection will register their memories flawlessly. Still, a life must be lived, and I'm dealing with this very real imperfection, and despite these imperfections, I'm working past them to become the better part of me. Of course, I'm not alone in a world full of imperfect people who also work to become the better part of themselves, despite their very real imperfections. So, when I compare myself with the person who has no deficiency in their brain, am I imperfect compared to them, or am I simply a person with a difference? Frankly said, notwithstanding perceived imperfections, having another person to compare ourselves with only makes the two of us merely different.
A little more than a year ago I wrote this "But each individual's eye has a lens for a different palette of color even while light is invariably a steady constant. Shine the light of Alison Krauss's words on my color palette and I'll find beauty deeply touching my heart and making me smile in my happiness while I hear her saying "It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart without saying a word you can light up the dark. Try as I may I could never explain what I hear when you don't say a thing." At the same time, someone else will not have their heart touched by the beauty I find in Alison Krauss’s song, but, they’ll find just as much light, color, beauty, and happy smiles hearing Katy Perry saying "I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter dancing through the fire. Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar louder, louder than a lion. Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar." The thing is, there's beauty in how beauty isn't static or stagnant. Said another way, when we can accept the fact that we can find beauty where someone else doesn't, and when someone else can find beauty where we don't, light being the only constant, we can discover many different colors and find unexpected beauty here as well." I'll admit I packed a lot into that paragraph intending to produce more than just a little passing thought. Still, if elegance is found in simplicity, I'll boil down that entire paragraph into its pure essence which is this - in a life lived, it's up to every individual to find beauty. Each individual's heart with its intrinsic hopes and desires will allow them to see what they chose. I believe when we work to be better and to become the best part of ourselves we get to spectacle more and more beauty. I believe this is true even where it concerns people who are unlike ourselves, sometimes extremely unlike ourselves. An outstanding way to understand this more competently is to think of it this way - all of us as individuals are like individual snowflakes that are completely unlike every other snowflake, and yet, each and every snowflake will always and forever be just as beautiful as any other snowflake! But life is full of mysteries, and truths can be hard to grasp.
Here's another truth easily understood. This is how I began this piece - "When a piece of the sun exists in your heart, you feel it - You feel its warmth, the full spectrum of its light, the entirety of its colors, and all its spectacular beauty. You close your eyes and its presence gives you a calm, peaceful feeling. With this feeling, we joyfully realize an implicit request to smile. A piece of the sun having an existence in one's heart. How often does this occur? Does this occur often, or rarely? I think this is right, no matter the answer, we always relish our welcome resident." For the existence of this piece of the sun within my heart, life is beginning to blossom right before my eyes. Hope, compassion, grace, mercy, and love, have begun to show my heart what beauty looks like and this beauty is expanding exponentially as I write this. My heart can hope this same experience of mine to become true for everyone I know, but no matter how deeply I hope for this, I can never will it into existence. What I can do is to do my best to plant a seed and then stand back to watch with a hopeful and expecting heart.
With ALL my LOVE
With AWESOME PEACE in Mind
Tod w/ only one d
Commentaires