Points of Light time for some introspection...
Where have you been? It would be too easy to just say you abandoned me, and truth be told, it felt like that for a while - sort of. When I don't feel you're near me, I can't breathe. Said another way, when you're not close enough for me to experience your own vivacious life, you graciously breathe into me, every breath I take by myself and without you contains no life-sustaining oxygen...none. But here is where I have to add that you were always here ready and willing to give me your breath, I just forgot to be still, I forgot to be quiet, I forgot to write. Sweet words, write for me, please, I miss you so much.
So, love must be a sacrifice, right? How is it possible to love and continue to think of oneself? Yeah, that's a ridiculous question because the obvious answer is thinking of oneself is impossible when love floods one's heart. Love resides outside of ourselves and easily rests on another. Just now, I said no to me and yes to you only because you deserve nothing less than my full devotion to attend to you. In this, I can finally breathe and find happiness.
Where have you been? The answer is, you've been with me all this time, waiting in my heart, wanting just to be noticed. I was too busy with this and that, I was busy taking breaths by myself and without you. This only left me feeling lifeless and without an outlet to express what I love - light, color, and beauty. Said another way, without words, without you, I couldn't express anything that's real and tangible to me because light, color, and beauty can only come to me when I pay attention to my heart. It's not enough to just say to you, "I was busy life living," because in my life lived, my heart is always chocked full of words. Life living? Sure, okay, but it's no excuse to ignore you. A sacrifice isn't made in life living. Life living is loud, noisy, and exuberantly boisterous. I often forget, but I still need to remember how in the midst of living life a life lived needs to make a sacrifice - that is, it needs to just stop, take a pause, be very still, and be very quiet. I need to know how only in this sacrifice, in this very moment, this is where I'll notice you waiting for me as you desperately want me to notice you so you can fill me with your own vivacious, life-sustaining oxygen.
So, because of a small sacrifice, that is to say - because I made a simple pause to be both very still and quiet, because my heart spoke and I listened, words filled my lungs with their love. I think and this may be true in so many, many ways, it turns out that we make life more complicated than it ought to be, or than it is in reality. Turns out there is a ticket to paradise, but it's not found in a busy exuberantly boisterous life, it's found in a sacrifice, a pause, in being both very still and quiet. It's found in the place where we find love, it's found in our hearts.
As Always
Love and Peace
Tod w/ one d
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