Points of Light, too often I feel I let you down. I fall flat on face time and time again. I'm mere clay and prone to mess up. If I've a mark to reach, I tend to not pass it. Despite that, I have to take into account that's what makes me a human and as such, I can never allow myself to become settled nor comfortable for the place where I presently stand. I have to be willing to lift my feet once more as I put one foot in front of the other and do my best to move forward. Not only that, but in the midst of the darkness of real emotional pain, I must always look for Lights Grace and Mercy to faithfully pierce my darkness. Then it's my job as the author of this blog to share that light with you as I hope it also puts light into the life you're living. Love keeps me animated to do this; I thank God that He is Love!
So, this has been going on in my life -
I hope I'll soon be able to put this into words, how emotional pain can turn into a thing of beauty. Yes, the despair of emotional pain can overwhelm me, make me feel like I'm crossing a slew of despondency. Still, I've learned if I pay attention and if I really want to learn from what feels like darkness when all that pain surrounds me, I've a light-filled lesson that's both needful and necessary. This lesson wants to burn itself indelibly into the very marrow of my bones as it desires my entire being learn from the encounter of its brief existence. In this emotional pain, I'm learning my tears and sadness are fragments of lights colors painting words on my heart, worthy of its own story, a story that has its own beauty intrinsically tied to my emotional pain; rather I immediately share that story or decide to temporarily keep it near my chest.
Yes, I've walked in and out of darkness these last few days, but I've always looked for light to pierce that darkness and to be made glad for that light. As I've done this, more and more light has found its way into this darkness of mine. Grace has given me both a rope to pull myself out of this maddening slough as well as all the light I needed as I did.
In all of this, I'm learning how through the years, I've given too much gravity to things completely out of
my control. Specifically, where it concerns other people's thoughts and opinions about me. Too often has been the time I've allowed others negative thoughts and opinions about myself steal my joy. I've taken that negativity and turned it into a reflection of my biased self-conceived notions of myself where I used to loathe every ounce of my being and breathing. There's a lot of gravity in that last statement, and it's that gravity that has been the source of this recent emotional pain and its predictable accompanying darkness. It's that precise gravity I'm learning to give up for grace.
As always, with much Grace and Peace. I Love You!
Tod w/only one d
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