Points Of Light, life is both good and wonderful right now, you do not know how much I'm in love with writing this to you. I'm learning my first impressions about what is presently happening in my life are not always correct representations of all the good life wants and desires to offer me. I'm certain I found the foundation for this truth in how I've had a lifetime to build a thought life where I've only ever considered very negative possible scenarios that could happen to me. Why did I do that? Well, I wrongly thought if I did, it would help me find avenues to escape each and every negative possibility that might come my way. That thought process was very detrimental because believing I could figure out every negative scenario, well, that meant I had no room left in my endless thought loop to consider possible positive life experiences happening to me. Well, I'm done with that and I finally understand how I need "pauses" in my life. I need to pause before I react. I don't know if that pause has a duration of minutes, hours, days, or even weeks, but I now know I need a pause. I need this pause to take my previous negative thinking out of the equation. I need the pause to give myself the chance I need to think positive thoughts. I need the pause to give people outside my own skin the chance they need to get through to me the positive wishes they both want and desire to give me. Points of Light, there's a lot of light in this truth, and in this light, you and I have a chance to see life with so many colors, find beauty in living life, we can smile, and we can be so very happy! As always - Love and Peace Tod w/ one d
Whenever Ch'amak wandered through this part of the forest, he always did so uneasily. Today, he was thinking how whenever Battenburg the green Iguana, Artagnan the Spidermokey, and Bobrov the Giant Beaver, entered this part of the forest, they all told him how they'd lose themselves as though they were living in a quiet dream. They also reported to him how they'd happily lose track of time before they left to return home. But for Ch'amak, well he thought they all must have eaten Angel's Trumpet that had been prepared by P’aqo, the Sloth and only shaman for miles around.
After entering this very place, he became lost in thought, a little world Ch'amak always retreated to. As usual, his mind was wandering around in endless loops trying to find every possible answer to any complex question life might throw his way. Being in this state of mind, he barely heard the snap of a nearby twig. Ch'amak left his thoughts just long enough to look toward the noise and saw a Jaguar approaching him. Somehow, he collected himself just long enough to look away from the Jaguar's stare only to see three other sets of equally menacing Jaguar eyes looking straight at him. It seemed his heart both came to a complete stop and pound out of his breast at the same time. He gulped as hard as he could. He went back in his mind where he finally realized he had to take a quick step forward, flap his wings as fast as he could and fly as far away from here as he could. He did not know how high he'd gotten when he felt what must have been the hot breeze of a powerful swat from one of the giant Jaguars. Never bothering to look back, Ch'amak flew until it turned dark.
It was weeks before Ch'amak found enough courage to land in that place again. This time, while he moved more cautiously, as always, he was lost in thought because this gave him the idea that no matter what might happen around him, in his mind, he could run endless loops of thinking about how to escape any predator - be they Jaguar, Anaconda, or Black Caiman. Then, as he stopped for a small minute to think more properly, Ch'amak began to feel something rapidly running up his right and then his left leg. He looked down to find the green kudzu spiraling around and around each leg, moving up and gathering around his wings, then moving for his head where the plant only barely left room for him to see. Using every muscle in his body, Ch'amak valiantly tried escaping the tight embrace of the kudzu which had so quickly encased him. But no matter how hard he tried; the kudzu only seemed to tighten its grip. Tired, Ch'amak gave up his struggle. He finally returned to the world of his thoughts and wondered to himself of so many "what-ifs" and how this never would have happened, "if only" one "what-if" after another. Later, as the sun set, the kudzu began to wilt and lose its grip on Ch'amak. He gathered all his strength for one last push and broke free. He moved past the remains of the plant, turned, and looked down on it. Then he took one step forward and flapped his wings to fly back home. As he flew away, he got back into his head to think endless thoughts about how this all developed.
This all happened about the time he had met Fuga the Hummingbird. Of those occasions when he'd get the chance to enjoy warm conversations with Fuga, he found he would talk to her even while he'd stay lost in his thoughts. This was also when Ch'amak didn't see himself as the most beautifullest and most wonderfullest Macaw there ever was. So, their interactions worked like this - often he would be busy in his thoughts trying to understand why the most gracious, wonderful, gorgeous, and intelligent Hummingbird he'd ever met would want anything to do with him. Still, every time they met to talk, she'd make him feel good and comfortable - mostly. Occasionally, she'd say something he wouldn't understand so, he'd get into his head and run endless thought loops at warp speed to figure out how the thing she said meant their short-lived friendship had to end. But while Ch'amak sincerely believed everything his irrational thinking told him, this was when through his broiling turmoil, Fuga always found a way to tenderly reach him. This astounded Ch'amak, and left him happily confused because when no one else had either tried or tried and failed, she actually found a way to calm and mollify his irrational confusion. Her act of caring left him to calmly contemplate what she'd done and helped him come around to understand his irrational thinking had not been necessary! He was profoundly and forever moved at how she found a way to see through all his frustration and arrive straight at its source by telling him just what it was he needed to hear. In this way, she stopped him from running his endless thought loops. Then in this newfound calm, she allowed him to feel, and Ch'amak would finally find the beauty of profound peace. This is when Ch'amak realized he was the fulfillment of the prophecy that said he, Ch'amak was the most beautifullest and the most wonderfullest Macaw ever!
With this new approach to his life, a life that didn't require as much time in the world that was inside his head, he returned to the place he, Battenburg, Artagnan, and Bobrov had talked about. As he lighted on a branch and hopped down to walk on the forest floor, he began to hear the most beautiful music he'd ever heard. While he continued moving ever so slowly forward, he heard beetles zoom by very calmly. Ch'amak felt his heart smile. Looking around, it seemed like the Orchids, Heliconia, Cacao, and Passion Flowers all seemed to bloom out of sheer joy to greet him. An odd smile came across his beak. Life seemed to become slow for Ch'amak and the laziness that permeated the air intoxicated all his senses. As he moved forward, he took a deliberate breath while also taking notice of all the beauty he was seeing. Looking around some more, he saw beavers who were normally very busy felling trees, laying still beside them. He began to lose track of time and had no idea how long he'd been wandering around in the calm, lovely beauty of this place. As he walked, looking over to his right, he saw a wonderful patch of Bromeliad Flowers; he laughed out loud to think they were the only things anywhere in this place that might not be up to mischief.
Just then Ch'amak heard the familiar buzz of rapidly flapping wings. He looked toward the sound and was ecstatic to see the gracious Fuga light down next to him. She whispered to him to take hold of her wing which he obliged to do as together they sat on the ground. In unison, they became quieter than any mouse ever imagined. As they looked up at a cloud, the sun shone through it revealing colors of red, blue, green, and yellow. As it serenely and lazily drifted by, it voluntarily reformed itself to look for them as though it was a passionflower opening up its petals just for them. As some more imperceptible time passed, Ch'amak and Fuga flew so slowly and leisurely out of that place that they barely managed to stay on top of the air.
After a day had passed, Ch'amak, his heart smile, and the grin on his beak found his way to his friends. He told them how he'd ventured back into their particular place in the forest. He told them that while he was there, he'd lost himself as though he had been living in a quiet dream and that he'd happily lost track of all time as he wandered through it - just like the way they'd been telling him. As he talked to them, he noticed he wasn't running those endless thought loops inside his head. Then he laughed for joy at actually hearing his friends say to him they had "told him so." In this beautiful world where both he and they were living life and taking the time to breathe the breaths one needs to live this life, Ch'amak laughed the hardest he'd ever laughed. He laughed so hard and so long that the most beautifullest and the most wonderfullest Macaw ever, began crying tears of sheer joy.
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